Petersburgian Case File #15: The One Where They Went To The Flea Market And No Other References To Friends Were Ever Made In This Blog Because I Mean Like...I Have Nothing Against Friends And I Get People Like It...I Don't Begrudge Them That...The Rachel As A Haircut Is A Really Interesting Cultural Artifact, I Suppose...And Of Course I Love Kudrow I Just I Guess Never Really Clicked With It, Wrong Time In My Life Maybe. But I Mean Its Nice So Yeah Enjoy It, I'm Glad You Do, Honest I Am*

See how I come through on promises? Truth be told I was sitting here not really sure what to write and was considering writing about something else, while, in true writer-ly / jewish fashion made sure to complain and lament this fact to my friend who, ever so logically suggested I write about the flea market like I said I would. Its embarrassing but likewise true that at that moment in time I had genuinely forgotten that that is how I ended my last post but you, of course, don't need to know that so to keep the narrative flowing just uhh one second here.

Aaaand poof you've forgotten! Forgotten what you ask? Uhh nothing...nothing at all just uhh don't scroll up.
And when I say forgotten I don't mean because of that little gizmo thing I just mean because you, and I, and the world just got so, so lost in Tommy Lee Jones' dreamy 5 o'clock shadow wrinkles.
Tommy Lee Jones' Dreamy 5 O'Clock Shadow Wrinkles(c) is, by the way, my favorite eau de toilette.

...So I got to the flea market! It was a really massive one that stretched on as far as the eye can see and then some. All filled with these little booths full of clothing and chachkis and perfumes and well everything imaginable. There were also some stray dogs wandering around but, you know, so it goes I suppose. As with all flea markets prices were certainly negotiable and said negotiability seemed quite strongly encouraged by all involved. I have to say I was impressed when some of my friends with very limited Russian were able to barter some items down. I, being the meek and timid soul that I am (as ever so clearly is displayed by each and every post in this blog), didn't particularly want to engage the Ruskies in haggling but prices as a whole seemed quite cheap so I didn't find that too much of a problem.

See like that is kind of a strange image for me but nobody else seemed to mind whatsoever. Sometimes even in the city proper, in the main part of Petersburg, you'll find a few. They're never aggressive or anything but still one tends to have a bit of a reaction to it. Maybe that just subtly shows what a 1st world privileged capitalist I am.

Like everything in this post-communist hellscape the flea market seemed to be broken down into two different sections of capitalist superiority and inferiority: The flea market 1% who had their things in sturdier looking structures on sidewalk that was actually paved, and then the flea market masses who had their things in little tents and tarps on this dirt/mud sort of field which I imagine all US shantytowns of the days of yore looked exactly like.

Its a regular Hooverville I tells you!

The dirt field part was inexplicably fairly wet/muddy even though I couldn't recall any rainstorm in the past few days which begs the question of how ridiculously muddy it will be during the actual rainy seasons. If that was the state of things at a dry time I truly cannot fathom how a person will be able to walk around it at all once we get a little more moisture. Now most people looked at clothing, looked at knick-knacks, looked at, well, the logic things to look at when you are in a foreign country at a flea market - the types of things specific to the country and that you would not be able to find otherwise. I, of course, gravitated towards the guy selling music and dvds - things I could easily get back in the States but of course not in bizarre Russian versions. CDs, at least the bootleg ones they were selling here, certainly gave you a bang for your buck as each CD was inexplicably filled with close to 200 songs (as opposed to, you know, 10-15 on a regular CD). They were selling artist's whole discographies in 2-CD bundles for about $3 a CD. Something tells me those artists will see a lot of the profits from each of those sales. I bought a 2-CD set of Russian singer-songwriter Vladimir Vysotsky and was very pleased with my purchase. They also had DVDs, including many TV shows on DVD from Breaking Bad to Mad Men to Luck. Luck was by far my favorite and not only because I make sure a different executive from HBO wakes up ala the classic morning bedhead scene from The Godfather until they bring back the damn show!

This is all cute and adorable but that baby's version of Last Tango in Paris is by far the most disturbing thing I have ever seen in my life. Interestingly enough, though, still directed by Bertolucci and the girl still played by Schneider.
Depraved, depraved stuff.

It was also my favorite because of the inexplicable translation of the name Luck into Фарт which in English would sound like Fart. If that isn't bizarre/confusing enough the word Фарт as far as I know does not exist in the Russian language so this isn't a case of "oh isn't that funny the word for Luck in Russian is Фарт." The word for luck is удача, I have absolutely no idea whatsoever how that title came about, what that word means, and what it means in relation to the show. I mean, I suppose, a series with leads like Hoffman, Farina, Nolte, and Gambon (all around the 70 mark at least) might have some unintentional flatulence but I really doubt/really hope that was not what they were going for.

If you want to see this guy talk about fucking prostitutes and beat a young man to death with an ashtray watch Luck!
Take that childhood.
Spoiler alert I suppose though honestly I mean you might tell yourself you'll watch it eventually but lets be honest nobody is ever going to watch Luck.

So I got home content with my CD purchase only to open it and find 2 of the same CD in the case. I mean for $6 that is still a ton of songs but regardless disappointing. Must have been the curse of the Del Torro babushka. (See I told you I'd bring it full circle...god I'm clever)


*I suppose, in retrospect, or not really in retrospect as I have yet to publish this post (as in I am not editing it after the fact) everything after the words flea market would probably have made a better asterisk post than being included in the title but no, damn it, I am going to keep it as part of the title cause people like the gimmick of a long title and I will ride that, if you would be so kind as to indulge me in one more horse related bit of humor, one trick pony all the way to the glue factory.